The other day I was going for a walk with a good friend, and we were talking about my blog which she is kind enough to read. (And so are you! Thank you!) Well, we were doing our usual stream of consciousness kind of conversation, the kind you can only have with someone you love and who loves you back. She mentioned, “I also read another blog. She’s a friend of a friend in Northern Virginia. I try to check it.” There was a lull in the conversation. She continued in a soft voice, “She lost her son.” OUCH!
At first I didn’t even want to think about it; I just wanted to gloss over it and talk about something happy, something fun, something that didn’t involve women losing sons. A little voice inside my head told me to get over myself, so I obliged. I asked, “Oh, how long ago was it?” Secretly I was hoping it was a long, long time ago.
“Last September.” Wow, not that long ago. I gasped. OUCH! So recent, so awful.
“How old was he?” I asked, hoping he was at least 40. (She has lots of older friends, so it wasn’t quite as irrational as it sounds. Irrational, yes, but not THAT irrational.)
“Twelve,” she answered. OUCH is not strong enough.
I was afraid to ask but did. “What happened?”
“There was some freak flooding in Northern Virginia, and he was swept away.”
Swept away, swept away… A woman’s 12-year-old son was just swept away. That’s beyond-words-kind-of awful.
Daddy Mac was out of town, so after Sam (finally) went to bed, I tentatively found her blog, “An Inch of Gray” at www.AnInchofGray.blogspot.com. As I started to read, I also started to cry. It’s the nightmare of nightmares come true for that poor family. She writes so beautifully and expressively, and she had done so long before the accident. It was heartbreaking to see the entry right before the accident. It was the first day of school tradition, and there were many happy photos of her two kids smiling and goofing around. Then just a couple of days later, their reality changed. He was gone, swept away. UGH!
A couple of hours went by as I was reading her blog, articles, you-name-it. OK, I’ll admit it — I even listened to the boy Jack’s eulogy like a big weirdo. (In my defense there had been several references in the article to how beautiful it was.) The boy’s mother Anna spoke which was amazing in its own right. Even more amazing, she was completely composed, reflective, thoughtful, and even humorous. What a truly amazing lady.
Back to my weirdness. So why am I glomming onto a tragic story like this one about complete and utter strangers? (After a while, this family didn’t seem like strangers anymore, just friends I haven’t met.) I mused about this all day today. I really don’t know the full answer, but I did have a big realization.
Although I may not “know” the Donaldsons per se, their story is so real. It’s real pain, real tragedy, and real emotion. That’s a reality show if ever there was one. This is one that makes it OK to cry for strangers. Ironically enough, the reality shows on TV don’t capture any kind of “real” reality. Even the pseudo reality is completely contrived. For starters the “stars” are fully aware they are on camera, usually getting a hefty paycheck, and often not on their home turf.
Seeing a window into the reality of the Donaldson family is as raw as it gets. This real accident happened right by their real home. They never wanted to be the center of a reality show, let alone one based on such a horrific tragedy. They were happy being normal, living real lives, and by a true twist of fate their reality was forever altered.
Amazingly enough, all that voyeurism managed to end on a positive note. Knowing the grief that Jack’s sister Margaret was experiencing, friends online began to lobby for her to meet her heartthrob, Justin Bieber. The group effort was tremendous, which resulted in the family going to LA and meeting JB at the American Music Awards. Wow! That got me crying again, happy tears this time. As incredible as it was to meet him, though, I know she’d much rather have her brother back. I admire the Donaldson family immensely for facing their new reality. That’s real courage.
Crazy or not, I’m going to continue to tune into the Donaldson family on Anna’s blog and pray for them. If you’re looking for a gripping reality show, it’s all there. What’s more real than a mother trying to come to terms with losing her child? Better yet, the Donaldson family has shown more courage than ever seen on reality TV.
LibbY
PS If you want to be a voyeur, too, check out Anna’s blog. It’s called “An Inch of Gray” at www.AnInchofGray.blogspot.com.